94 days ago, I stared at the order page for fifteen minutes.
Thinking: "What if it doesn't work? What if I'm falling for another product that promises everything and delivers nothing? I can't handle another disappointment."
But I also thought: "I can't keep living like this."
So I ordered. Nervous. Skeptical. Almost certain I was wasting my money again.
Day 10, my coworker stood close to me in the break room and I didn't panic. I just talked. Like a normal person. I went to my car after and sat there for five minutes just breathing.
Last week I went to a crowded restaurant with friends. Sat in the middle of the table. Laughed. Ordered whatever I wanted without thinking about it.
It's the small things that get me. Not checking my breath every thirty minutes. Not angling away during conversations. Not carrying mints like a lifeline. Just existing.
I don't know what you're feeling right now. Maybe the same fear I felt. Maybe you're thinking "she got lucky, but it won't work for me."
I thought that too.
94 days ago I was popping mints before every conversation. Today I'm living a life I forgot was possible.
Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for you.